At times writing is effortless. Other times nightmarish. But it's always therapeutic.

Chapter 10. “How not to make another baby just after the first one”…

with 8 comments

This is not a script of a play. It’s just part of a letter I wrote to another person in early 2009, who was interested in the continuity of an earlier email, an email which included a short imagined talk between a young couple, Daddy and Elle, who have one child. Here we go…

“Now this paternity leave has entered a moment that calls for great silence. If there is someone talking or shuffling papers near you please ask them to hold horse. A father, a mother, and their baby are discussing the making of another baby. It’s hardly half a year and Daddy definitely wants another paternity leave. Sorry, I mean he wants another baby caring-session. Elle, surprisingly, doesn’t want another mom-pampering session.

Babie certainly wants all the attention, especially since she found out that a flash of her toothless gum always earns her a kiss by the closest lips; mom’s or dad’s. (mom’s are soft thanks to lip balm/lip gloss, dad’s are soft courtesy of his mighty tongue that sticks out, does an all-round sweep, and slides back to wherever it came from).

So a boy is on the one end of two girls. Who will win?

Elle; It’s wonderful to be a mom. All my thinking is now determined by where my daughter fits in. Motherhood is just natural. OK, the magazines have really helped but as mum said the other day, baby care is pretty intrinsic. My girlfriends have it that way too. It’s not easy anyway but I admit it has been a good time with everyone around.

It’s long since I and hubby spent more than 3 weeks in the house practically the whole day each day. What fun! I have eaten more meals made à la hubby than any other time. Talking of food please don’t mention that this has also been a comedy house. You would think cooking to him is chewing walking crustaceans! But whenever he’s in it, it seriously taken and done willingly.

Daddy; hey guys, today I don the apron. Activate your taste buds because I’m flying you all the way to the coast of Marseille.
Elle; wow mon cher!
Daddy; yes, it’s broncoff for dinner.
Elle; bronco…? Please don’t do us game meat. You have been poaching you?
Daddy; hehe. correct, poaching for great stuff. No admission to the kitchen till I scream. (smiling at the baby) Hello there. Even you, no crawling in here…mmh…I’m lucky you don’t.

That night we had a wonderful dinner. Broncoff was a new but very pleasant surprise to me. So much so that I cried. I know men can’t do as much as women especially when it’s about those million swift heres and theres at home and my hubby is no exception. But that extra hand has meant a lot. More so the chatting, humour, counter-humour, all the silly things…It has been an easy time and I have never laughed more.

Ok, we have quarreled a few moments. Like when I found a can of lubricating oil in the fridge. It’s normal anyway. I know my gratitude to him is so much and our daughter’s too. I feel secure.

Last Sunday after church he took the family out. A sunny luxuriant afternoon, birds chirping, butterflies flapping their soft silky wings and a family at peace with God. Ok, indoors sounded like a good idea (too much of something is poisonous – you crave for more) but then again what a wow affair it was…I felt “light” and girlish again…hehe. woiyee jobo….please don’t break all this bliss…Too bad the honeymoon is almost over but I’m better of now that before.

Things can just be interesting things. Good Lord. I’m now a father! I’m afraid, excited, happy, grateful, cautious and again afraid. I didn’tt know how being a father is of a feeling outta this world. Extra-terrestrial feelings. A turbulence with a silver lining.

Thoughts of my daughter sometimes cause a slash effect across my belly. I can’t explain it but suddenly nothing is more important. She means everything. Elle’s strength has beaten me 8-0. Women are very strong. Before I am through doing A she has done all the way to F, that despite being a very young mom.

And tell me, where do women learn so much about mothering? Even first timers like Elle? Can’t pull nature out of it anyway. no wonder its “MOTHER nature”. “FATHER nature?” that sounds fraudulent. But hey! my joints are now turning like greased bearings. I know the sink and a kettle bottom like my nose. When duty calls I change baby pretty fast, rock her to sleep (for this I graduated with honours and a book is on the way).

Spending time with Elle has been fantastic. It was superb being present at such a moment helping around. Not bad. She greatly loved the little things. Yea, that is my grand joy. Especially the deep talks we have had, laughing, her insight into matters babies, family and all that. I’m very impressed and grateful for her. A gift is beckoning at her? Sure.

Ok, and all the cooking. Man! That field is deadly. OK, when alone you can do it my bachelorhood way. Chip everything together; onions, spices, tomatoes, potatoes, greens, carrots, herbs if any and throw them inside plus the oil. 5 minutes then sprinkle salt and “royko”. Stir from top-bottom-top, add water, place the lid, another 5 minutes and server while hot.

Never forget the “serve while hot”. The often forgotten magic of cuisine. That’s my way. But elle has shared a few tricks with the boy all the same. One week and he’ll be baking cakes; oval, hexagonal, triangular…all.

Elle: you finished reading this Daddyhood hoh book?
Daddy; yep, jana late night.
Elle: (flipping through Chapter 10. How not to make…); hehe…what is this you are reading? Kwani there is another baby in the making? Mmh…ok, tell me how not to.
Daddy: it depends.
Elle: depends…on?
Daddy: your location.
Elle; location…location? I don’t get it.
Daddy: the book says the only way to avoid baby number 2, just after baby number 1 is going back to work. But I’m available if you don’t want me to…(smiling)
Elle: hehehehe, oh my goodness! nakuona wewe. I hear you. Then go back to work right now!
Daddy: anyway Monday I’m back to work so all choices out of the window.
Elle: oh! Too bad. But can’t regret the time.
Daddy: me neither. ’twas great; you, baby. I’ve also stolen the time to read and write a lot whenever you guys slept. So that’s the way not to make another baby this soon: going back to work. Damn!
Elle: (chuckling)…
Babie: eeh…ahh. (with that conventional signal from baby, the girls have just won and I’ve lost a possible paternity leave)


Huh, them days. That’s one happy virgin family right there on that page.


Written by coldturkey

January 11, 2010 at 11:37 PM

Posted in here and there

8 Responses

Subscribe to comments with RSS.

  1. Hahahaha….so where is the rest of this lakini????


    February 12, 2010 at 6:19 PM

  2. @Cee, hello? for real if you are interested, by my pen I will finish this! Just need an inspiration…

    Cold Turkey

    February 12, 2010 at 6:40 PM

  3. Maliza tafadhali….I love it. Inspiration sijui utatoa wapi lakini…


    February 13, 2010 at 11:36 AM

  4. Inspiration need only be someone following and good, hapo upo. I’ll add a page or two to it.

    Cold Turkey

    February 14, 2010 at 11:10 PM

  5. Sawa sawa, I’Ll be looking out for them.


    February 19, 2010 at 10:54 PM

  6. Thanks the author for article. The main thing do not forget about users, and continue in the same spirit.


    March 19, 2010 at 11:04 PM

  7. I would appreciate more visual materials, to make your blog more attractive, but your writing style really compensates it. But there is always place for improvement


    April 16, 2010 at 4:04 AM

  8. This has me grinning silly. I can’t laugh out loud lest I get the evil eye from my supervisor


    June 6, 2012 at 12:52 PM

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: