At times writing is effortless. Other times nightmarish. But it's always therapeutic.

Falling in Love

with 10 comments

His eyes, under their thick line of pitch black lashes, studied my head. Actually he was looking at my hair. The look was appereciative and casual. “Eh…are you Somali?” he asked. “No. Why?” “The curl…just a guess.” Nick was a shy boy. His speech had a lot of pleasantries, staccato like poetry but never a careless word. My mum had told me that shy men made good husbands. “Esther, can I tell you something?” he whispered, leaning sideways to my front left seat. “Yes, why not?”


Nick evetually married me. We have 7 children. He was still shy but very industrious. Always home early to play with the smaller kids on the carpet, play chess with me in the kitchen till midnight or write. He loved writing. Whenever it was fictional I would not sleep before reading because it was full of humour. I did not care much about the fictional work because it was too ideological and extremely unconventional. I remember him trying to convince me that clothes were an inhibition to progress.

He had written, “It is clear that clothes to a very large propotion, inhibit critical and creative thinking. Abandoning clothes rewards a person with liberation from unnecessary cares and promotes an atitude of overcoming fear. This sets that person on a free fall towards confidence and untold brilliance.”

Of course I told him that was sap-head kind of thing and as usual he just laughed and tried to convince me, even more fervently. I liked this part as I got to be called the most “dearests” in one sentece; “my dearest, look here dearest, let me tell you something dearest, trust you me my dearest…”

He was also against men kneeling when proposing to their girlfriends, saying it was not genuine nowadays and was a ‘recycled’ act. “Why propose kneeling, my dearest? A man should stand up and explain himself!! Queens and kingdoms were never defended on knees.” Well, I now knew why he never knelt for me. This hurt me a little. Not then but when I learned the reason.

He had proposed by Lake Mannil, close to his mother’s home, around 7pm. We were both on our feet, his properly dug in the ground, standing behind me with his arms around my waist and my hands on his. Probably he was supporting himself lest by some powers he knelt. After I had said yes, he pulled 2 tiny glasses and another tiny Voyabourg wine bottle from his jacket pocket. We talked till midnight and were both very happy. But it still hurt me a little when I learnt the why.

I used to hear other women talk of unpredictable men and I think there is some excitement in that and every woman loves excitement. Something close to adrenaline flow. Loving on the edge, I would brand it. I never got that from Nick. But I’m not complaining. I think he let me in to those regions where his fears existed, his past pains and dreams. I did as well. We had fights yes and actually I once put up with my sister for 3 days. But we were happy.


Nick is now in jail. His extreme ideologies have given him an express ticket to prison. He would not have had he supressed publishing the book against our regional authorities. But then again what can one say? I cannot see him and have not for 2 years, neither have the children. Our family has lost many friends and the kids are used to police presence in our house. It’s reduced of late though.

An year ago I got the only word from him. A letter, asking about the children and his mother and saying his is fine. Just what I needed to know he is not. As Judeans used to say, this too shall come to pass and I will have my dearest, my shy boy, my Nick, back.


Written by coldturkey

November 18, 2009 at 5:28 PM

Posted in looking

10 Responses

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  1. Wow, turkey froid! Way to put your best foot forward. There are so very few real men…so very few Nicks.


    November 25, 2009 at 10:20 PM

  2. Cheers Binti. Your comment is the first ever on this blog and so it goes platinum!

    Cold Turkey

    November 30, 2009 at 7:48 AM

  3. New blog, nice content. I’m confused though about the gender of the author after reading the inverted underwear entry.


    December 1, 2009 at 7:58 AM

  4. What a blog. First timer here.. will sure check in more often


    December 2, 2009 at 9:46 AM

  5. @Bomseh, thanks for that. About gender, I’m sure you can crack this man.

    @Shee, great to hear that. You’re welcome big time!

    Cold Turkey

    December 2, 2009 at 10:49 AM

  6. First time here.
    This is touching. I hope you get to be with your Nick. Its true..this too shall pass.


    December 3, 2009 at 3:01 PM

  7. And I see I’m driving them in in spades. PS, bombseh he’s a man…you’re a man right turkey? Autrement cheri, il vais etre trés gauche, non?


    December 8, 2009 at 7:57 PM

  8. Haha …. ma chère Bintiafrica, why would that be so? and oui, as cool as men come. You must be a harbinger of good tidings. Drive them in still. cheers.

    Cold Turkey

    December 11, 2009 at 2:30 PM

  9. “ chess with me in the kitchen till midnight or write. He loved writing.” My fav sentence. Nice pace Cold Turkey. Nice pace.


    May 12, 2010 at 1:44 PM

  10. Is this true, or it’s fiction?


    December 27, 2010 at 11:25 PM

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